Feet - Bianca, Sydney & Peyton

ladybugs

The ladybug has us pinned.

kickin it

Chunkie Milk Junkie

Cheese

Now that the tears are dried.... Lets be pals again.

Take this

Sydney gets tired of listening to Peyton scream in her ear. "Ah, Peyton put a Binkie in it, I'm trying to get my pictures taken."

Number One

I'm number one. Keep watching.

Today

today was hard, it's strange how the whole weak seems to be an ordeal, even the days leading up to it. I find myself wondering what might have been if Kyle were still with us. I'm sure we'd still have our hands full, he was a mama's boy afterall. What would he have looked like. Everytime I see little boys I wonder about mine. I know that my nephew Donovan and Kyle look similar. They don't look exactly alike, but I guess watching Donovan grow up I will have an idea of what Kyle would look like. It doesn't really help knowing that, doesn't change the way I feel or the fact that I miss him every single day. Not a day comes or goes that I'm not thinking about him. I say his name everyday. I look at his pictures everyday. It's not something that goes away.

I watched the DVD today, my wonderful friend Darice made it for me. I watched it over and over and over. It was on almost the entire morning. The girls and I watched and listened to the music. It truley is a treasure. I got some more cards in the mail today remembering Kyle. It's a great feeling to know that my friends and family remember him to. Sometimes the people you think should remember don't, or maybe they don't know what to say. They say as the time goes by most everyone will forget, everyone but you... their lives will go on - like our own, but we'll never forget - they will expect you to put it behind you, like a nightmare, or pretend it didn't happen.

We met Ben's parents at the cemetery, it started to rain. We took some more balloons and some new flowers and a new beanie baby (the lion). Sometimes people walk off with his goods. hard to believe that.. but they do. I think lil kids pick stuff up when their parents aren't paying attention. Aunt Andria had stopped by with some flowers for Kyle and Alyssa. We stood out in the rain for awhile, enjoying the new smell the rain left. Waiting for the rainbow to show it's colors.

Yesterday

Yesterday the weather was nice so we decided to head to the cemetery, march 24th is Kyle's anniversary. My friend Johanna sent us a balloon bouquet letting us know that she was thinking about us and Kyle. It's really nice to have people remembering Kyle - besides us. We went to party city and got a bunch of balloons to put at his marker, plus some to release. We hung out for a lil while, it was really windy when we got there, so we didn't take the babies out, and we didn't stay as long as I'd liked to. I know there will be a time when we can stay longer, so I don't let it bother me.

After we left the cemetery we went to Bianca's socce try outs again... this time I got roped into going. So - Sydney, Peyton and I hung out in the car, listening to tunes, nursing and just talking. Some of the other soccer moms came to the car to visit and see the babies. After a couple hours the babies got restless - so I loaded them back into their carseats and we went cruising. We ended up at Uncle Rafa's house, I couldn't find their phone number so I decided we'd come back when I picked Bianca and Ben up at the soccer field.

Sydney and Peyton enjoyed the visit with Uncle Rafa and Aunt Laura. Andres, Vanessa and Bianca played with the birds, and hamster. The babies were on their best behavior, Laura was having lots of fun with Sydney. She even got to change a dirty diaper, how much more fun could you have? Okay dancing with the baby was more fun. Tomorrow Bianca is spending the night with Andres and Vanessa.

Weigh In 6 weeks

I had my first experience putting the girls into the explorer and taking them out. I put Peyton in the middle because she's lighter than Sydney. I had to climb into the car to get the carseat out. I can already tell I'm not gonna wanna go anywhere without daddy. Ben says his arms are coming out of his shoulder sockets when he carries both carseats, I can't imagine. I wonder if we'll ever use the stroller we got for the infant carriers? Ben is already talking about buyin the britax marathon, yeah the big carseat...

We took the girls to the lactation station at Sutter to weigh them. Sydney went first, she weighs 9 lbs 11.5 oz. Peyton weighs 8 lbs 13 oz. Sydney feels so much heavier than Peyton I was afraid they were a couple lbs different, maybe Peyton is gonna hit a growth spurt to catch her sister. I wanna go shopping and buy them their first pair of Robeez, Ben keeps threatening to buy one pair that they can share ~rolls eyes~

The girls are exclusively wearing 0-3 month clothes now. The 0-3 are still quite baggy, but I can tell they are growing into them. They never wore any of the premie clothes they received, and now the newborn outfits are snug on Peyton and don't even fit Sydney. I'm excited. By the time summer gets here, they should fit nicely into the 0-3 month clothes maybe even into the 3-6 month clothes.

I've been spending quite a lot of time alone with Sydney and Peyton. My sister Amy has been working lots and having the odd shifts, odd in that she can't come over and play. Don't tell her, but the babies miss her... so do I. I held Sydney on the bjorn yesterday and Peyton in the Mayan wrap. I still don't have the hang of the wrap, its been nice having them both, that way I can hold them at the same time and still have a hand free. One is better than none. We usually dance around the house when we're in the bjorn and wrap, before I got the wrap, it was the bjorn and my arms. It's quite hard carrying the baby in my arms while wearing the bjorn. I'm gonna have some muscles.

an afternoon out

Today we left Syndey and Peyton at grandma and papa's house while we went to watch Bianca play indoor soccer. It was strange leaving them, even knowing we'd only be gone about 90 minutes. I nursed both babies before we left -

Bianca scored two goals. She had some powershots that the goalie blocked, and she played super aggressive. I was really proud of her. Her best goal of the game... Someone passed it up to her, she was playing forward and she stopped the pass and then shot the ball hard into the corner. Sometimes she tries to catch up to the ball when the pass it up to her like that, but she's been working on the stop and shoot.... YEAH Bianca. The Rage (her team) won. 3-2. Renee had the other goal (1st goal of the game) She shot from a lil over half field and scored up high in the corner... what a boot.

I got to catch up with some of the other soccer moms from Rosemont. It was nice to see them. Cindy was there with her new baby. She's a cutie, lots of dark hair, must be at least 3 or 4 inches long on the top... Big girl (9 lbs something at birth). We talked babies for awhile. Then I went to sit with Jennifer and Andy to watch the game. We talked select soccer, shoes, babies and kids. It was nice to have some more grown up conversations.

After the game we went back to grandma and papa's house... the babies were great, sleeping soundly. Had to wake them up to nurse them... they were outta their element and nursing didn't go so well, they didn't eat like normal - but they had lots of messy diapers. Tia Andria and Donovan came over and we all played, had carnitas and then went to watch the BlueAngels fly. Yes, I got to step outside. The sun was shining, the air was crisp, and every once in awhile the wind whipped through my hair and slapped at my face. It was a wonderful afternoon.

The Cleaning Lady

the cleaning lady missed work today, so I was pulling double duty, wait triple duty...
okay she had to be at her other job... Raley's you are so lucky to have my sister working for you.

I cleaned house in between taking care of babies, no time for naps or sleeping in. I woke up early and took a shower during the babies first nap, even had time to blow dry my hair. Usually I have to shower at night when everyone is home and they can help with the kiddos. I miss taking showers when no one is home (not counting the babies). I get to have the music on loud (not so loud now) there's something about a hot shower in the morning especially when you don't have anywhere to be. Sipped coffee (decaf) and ate bon bons (kidding).

I miss the cleaning lady... please come back. I'll give you a raise.

Almost Tuesday

I nursed Peyton and then Sydney, put them into their bouncers and headed to bed. Daddy was still awake and I figured the girls would be up about 11 or 12 to nurse again. Daddy is usually going to bed about that time. Peyton woke up at 12 and so I nursed her first and changed her, then put her in the co-sleeper. Next I woke Sydney, changed and nursed her, she was asleep, I put her into the co-sleeper and as soon as I did.. she started her noises... She holds her binkie in her mouth and makes noise... she spits the binkie out and makes noise. She's a noise maker. I checked the clock numerous times as I prayed she'd drift off to sleep. At 2:30 Peyton joined in and I knew it was time to nurse again. So I took Peyton out into the livingroom and checked the late night TV, then tivo - watched an episode of Girlfriends (it's funny) Peyton ate and got changed and went back to the co-sleeper, grabbed Sydney who had manged to keep her eyes closed and still make some noises. I changed her and nursed her... I watched Loop (a new comedy - yep I tivoed it too. She soon drifted off to sleep, no longer clutching the nipple, I figured she was a safe bet and I took Sydney back to the bedroom and put her in the co-sleeper where she started in with the noises.... I looked at the clock it was now almost 4 am... and I'd been awake far to long... I picked Sydney up and laid her in bed with me.... she snuggled in close and she was out... there were no strange noises, no noises at all.... We laid there for ten minutes...I couldn't sleep, I needed the comfort of my down comforter around my neck, over my shoulders - my arms were cold.... I thought i was in the clear... so I put her back in the co-sleeper and crawled into bed.... I had just pulled the comforter over me when the noise began... how long could it go on... how long would I let it go on. another ten minutes and I climbed out of bed and picked her up... we wandered into the livingroom, and yes it was premeditated. I turned the bouncer on, placed Sydney in the bouncer, gave her the binkie and ran into my room... She was happy... I couldn't hear the noise... I was happy - I pulled the comforter up over my head and fell asleep. At 7 am Peyton woke up and we nursed... Ben came in and said he was surprised to see Sydney in the bouncer - YES HE SLEEPS THROUGH EVERYTHING -

day one of soccer try outs

Today was Bianca's first day of soccer try outs. She's trying out for an under 12 select team. It's a team that travels and plays in tournaments. She's excited about traveling, especially the santa cruz tournament... that I hope they play in... I just want an excuse to go to the beach this summer.

day one of soccer try outs

Today was Bianca's first day of soccer try outs. She's trying out for an under 12 select team. It's a team that travels and plays in tournaments. She's excited about traveling, especially the santa cruz tournament... that I hope they play in... I just want an excuse to go to the beach this summer.

Just the three of us

Today it was just the three of us again. Was an early morning for me, but I managed to snag a few hours of sleep during the night. I was up and moving around about 745, the babies nursed and went back to sleep. I couldn't fall asleep, so I was on the computer - catching up on emails and looking through pictures, downloading pictures and trying to figure out which pictures I want to use for the birth announcement. When is it considered to late to send out announcements? Oh well - I'm still sending them out. It's so hard to get pictures where Sydney and Peyton are both looking at the camera or even the vicinity of the camera. Okay so we won't have any frontal shots, maybe if I'm lucky we can get some smiles and show off their dimples. Everytime Sydney smiles - I'm to slow with the camera. I've managed to get one picture of Peyton smiling.

Sydney has grown out of her cute lil pink and green frog outfit... it's the cutest thing... so now I guess Peyton will be going at it alone, since she's still smaller than her sister. I still dressed them the same today, poor Peyton looks like she's wearing someone elses clothes. Awe, but they still look cute.

Like I said it was just us three today. We spent the morning taking turns sleeping, nursing, fussing and getting diapers changed. Okay I didn't participate in any sleeping, fussing - lucky me.. i got to nurse and change babies... Had a lil photo op... Peyton had some wake time, and then Sydney.... and Sydney is still awake... Peyton is snoozing.... I'm gonna crawl into bed too.

Tuesday's all nighter (condensed version)

I guess I should have known that the worst sleepless nights were still to come. I'm hoping I had the worst and last sleepless night. I laid down at 11 o'clock after feeding both babies. The first cry was at midnight, I felt pretty good, the one hour had done wonders for me. By 1:30 I had both babies fed, changed and into the co-sleeper. I crawled into bed and before I could pull the covers up over my head - the first cry. I got the binkie... she kept spitting the binkie out. (Can you tell I'm not naming names). She was now screaming, so I got up and we went into the livingroom and I patted her back, rubbed her tummy, we danced, we listened to XM radio, we danced some more and her eyes closed. I laid her down and then her sister decided to open her eyes and yell. She wanted some attention too. I looked at the clock, it was now 2:34, so I picked her up and changed her diaper, nursed her, burped her, danced with her, she dropped off to sleep much quicker, it was now 3 something and I put her into bed and her sister peeked at me, she was hungry. So I changed her diaper, nursed her, changed her diaper again and tried to get her to drop off to sleep, but she was wipe awake... So I laid her down anyways. She didn't like it, she moved around, her hands flailing, hitting her sister and waking her up, so I had two crying babies... One is hard enough, but two.... not something you will appreciate. So I give one a binkie and hold the other, then I switch, then I switch again and again... finally someone gets tired and drops off to sleep... time to nurse babies again.... one and then the other... more crying, but no tears....at 545 I crawled into bed with one baby and Ben crawled into bed with the other baby... it was quiet once again.... for two hours, then it was feeding time again, then sleep, then Amy showed up.... and the day began. Could it have been that my friendly starbucks bistra person added the caf to my decaf on Monday????????? I'll never know...

cuddles

Friday

Oh what a night. Peyton was up every 90 minutes... she would nurse and then fall asleep to quickly and wake up with a rumbling in her tummy. Poor Sydney had to wake up a little early to eat because of her sister, and poor mommie who didn't get much sleep at all. We did some walking the hallway again but not like the other night. I can't wait til my chair comes in. I've been waiting a month now for my chair to be delivered. It's gonna be nice to sit in the chair, relax, recline, rock instead of the no motion couch. I guess I should have waited to give my glider to my sister until after my new chair arrived.

This morning was the first time I successfully nursed both babies while laying in my bed. Usually they don't latch on well and I end up with a puddle of milk on my bed... but not this morning. YEAH. I'm not sure what time I started nursing the baby, not sure what time the baby fell off, cuz I was catchin some z's. I'm usually anal about writing down the feeding start and finish times and if they had a potty, if this nursing in bed goes well, I may move away from note taking and the many trips to the livingroom during the night. BTW - I got some cute pictures of the girls snuggling after the morning feeding




My sister came by at 10 o'clock sharp, no starbucks this morning. We played with the babies and hung out til she picked Bianca and Alyce from school at 1120. Then the house was full of kids. Bianca and Alyce were cleaning Bianca's room so that Bianca could spend the night away from home. Don't tell Bianca, but I would have let her spend the night even if she hadn't cleaned her room completely. The girls actually took everything from under Bianca's loft bed out.... put it in the middle of the room. Her room looked like a hurricane hit. Alyce explained that she's a neat freak... and doesn't like sugar... so she was willing to help Bianca clean. Now that's a friend you keep for life... as the afternoon crept away Alyce kept coming out and saying that Bianca's room was a hard room to clean... I'm not sure what that meant. She even tried to recruit Amy to help clean. No cigar. they'd take breaks and play, push the fake twin dolls around the house, a brief snack at the cafe and a walk in the park. I was pleasantly surprised to see a clean room at 2:15.

Thursday

Alex and Amy came over with starbucks offerings... an iced vanilla latte decaf for me, something chocolate for Alex and something less than perfect for Amy's vanilla mocha. What is a vanilla mocha? If I ask her, she's not sure, just swears she had one once and it was great... but lately it hasn't been work the $3.50... I can't believe that Alex is giving up his Thursday to hang out with Amy, Sydney, Peyton and me... We watch Along Came Polly... Amy and I take the babies into my bedroom to catch up on our shows... Alex plays XBOX360 Condemed Minds??? (you're the FBI agent) Amy makes us lunch and Alex takes turns holding the babies. He really seems to like them, but he complains that they are small... the babies enjoy spitting and tooting on him, they even offer him a dimpled smile on occassion. Amy cleans house while i feed babies. Bianca and her friends come home from school. KAOS ooops Chaos... KAOS were my friends from highschool. Chaos are her friends from elementary. We play, we chat, we nurse babies, change babies, dance with babies... everyone is tired. Bianca's friends go home, and Alex, Bianca and Sydney curl up for a nap... how sweet

Sleepless in Sactown

I'm running on lack of sleep, hoping for a chance to close my eyes for a period of time that lasts longer than thirty minutes. Tuesday night I didn't get much sleep, maybe two hours the whole night, but in thirty minute increments. Peyton had a tummy ache, or something, she was up all the time and just crying. Is this where the colic starts? They say the crying spells start when the babies come to the 40 week gestation mark, the original birthdate. Yes - I read the happiest baby on the block (wish I went with the DVD now, it might be easier to go back over things). Needless to say I did a lot of walking the hallway with Peyton last night and then had to sneak in time with Sydney (at least she needed to nurse). During the day today I tried to catch some cat naps, it was IMPOSSIBLE. Between feeding and the noises that Sydney makes... Did I mention that she sounds like a goat, a car, I think she's related to the guy on Police Academy. When she's trying to fall asleep, she's making lots of noise, I'm lucky that Peyton usually sleeps through it, along with daddy. Mommie on the otherhand wakes at the slightest noise or movement. Bianca gets out of school at 11:20 the rest of the week, so I couldn't just take a nap after lunch because she was coming home and she's not a latch key kid yet. I got a phone call at 1130 asking if Bianca could go to Aleece's house to play til 130, so I said sure. I wish i knew in advance I could have taken that nap. At 130 I got a call that Aleece's mom was running late and could Bianca go to the teachers conference with them... I said okay again... Missed another napping opportunity. Knock at the door at 245... Bianca is home and Aleece and Elene come in to visit the babies. Bianca leaves again with them ... Oh how I wish I could have taken naps. To late. I did get a nap in from 7 pm to 8 pm... I'm nursing the babies and going to bed for good.. okay not really, but I'm praying to get two hours of sleep before they wake. Wish me luck

Strike a Pose

Wave to the camera

Peyton (left) Sydney (right)

Peyton and Sydney

Home alone plus two

Last night Sydney and Peyton had baths, no more sponge baths, they got to get in their lil tubs. Sydney cried the entire time she was in the tub. She was happy to get out and dried off. I gave her a lil massage on the changing table after drying her off, it seemed to settle her down some. She was happy to be in someone's warm embrace, she wanted to cuddle bad. Bianca video taped the bath scene.

Peyton was next, she cried at first, but then she got used to the water, it was only after we finished the bath that she was upset. She wasn't happy to leave the warm water, maybe it reminded her of the womb. Maybe the towel wasn't to her liking, she was irritated with the hood, and she didn't care much for her massage, she screamed way to much. I ended up cuddling her for quite a while after the bath until she was calm again.

Sydney went right to sleep while Peyton wasn't allowing the sandman to come. Peyton was wide awake for over an hour.

Today I'm home alone with the babies. My sister is in training the rest of the week and my mom is sick, so it's just me, sydney and peyton. It's not that bad. They seemed to sleep lots of the time, but I know there will be awake time. They woke up at the same time... wanted to eat and Sydney ate first... Peyton wasn't very happy that her sister was eating first... she cried quite a bit, but she finally got her turn and Sydney didn't mind at all. I guess her tummy was full. I had them on the bed and I took some pictures of them during the awake cycle. It didn't last more than 30 minutes this time around, but I'm sure they'll be wide awake while Ben takes Bianca to her indoor soccer game.

Indoor soccer - tonight is the championship game. Rage (bianca's team) vs Menace. Going into the final minutes of the game the Rage was down 2 - nil, but the Rage is never out, they managed to score two quick goals and send the game into overtime, then double overtime and sudden death. Bianca scored the winning goal with only two minutes left. I sure wish I could have been there to see the game. They got T shirts after the game and the girls went to Chinese Food... I think it's kinda late for eating, but maybe they worked up an appetite. So yeah I went from spending all day long alone with the girls to spending all night alone with the girls too. I managed to get in some Sydney time, and then some Peyton time. I don't think I'll get any Bianca time tonight, it's already after 9 and she's not home. She needed to be in bed already, but at least it's Ben that's waking her up in the mornings.

babies

Mommie and Peyton have a photo shoot

look at  peyton's dimples

Mommie and Sydney have a photo shoot

Great Grandma came to visit

Great Grandma couldn't wait to see you so she took a lil day trip to come and say hello. It was nice to hang out and sit on Great Grandma's lap. We each took a turn and got a picture too. My sister is quite the photographer if you can tell.
Peyton and Great Grandma from the side. Sydney and Great Grandma head on.

daddy's girls

Big Sister is Watching

Bianca, Sydney and Peyton

Who's who?

Check us out

Sydney and Peyton

Sydney: "What are you doing?"
Peyton: "I'm looking for something to eat"
Sydney: "I don't think you're gonna get much from that shirt"
Peyton: "I think I spilled some milk earlier, so now I'm sucking it up"
Sydney: "And they thought only blondes did strange things"

Bianca holding Sydney and Peyton

Big sister is always eager to hold her baby sisters. She's been a great big help. Sydney is on the left and Peyton is on the right.

So Yesterday

I think I slept for 5 hours Friday night thru Saturday morning. The girls had me up every couple hours to nurse. I'm really used to it now. Wake up, change a diaper, walk in a daze to the livingroom, sit down, turn on the tv, check the time, find my breast and nurse the baby, when the baby falls off my nipple, write the time down, burp the baby, walk back to the nursery, place baby in kiddopotamus, walk back into my room, place baby in co-sleeper next to waking baby. Now do the same thing again. Usually an hour has past by the time I put the next baby back in the co-sleeper. Climb into bed myself and snooze for up to two hours. Wake up at least three more time in the night as the process repeats its self.

Amy (my sister) came by about noon to hang out with us. She stayed a couple hours. I got some good pictures of her and Peyton (she was awake). Amy left and Uncle Steven, Joan and Andrew came by for a first visit. Andrew was empressed with.... Bianca's cars - I think he just likes cars. Joan held Sydney and Steven held Peyton. They compared notes. They seem to think that Peyton looks more like Bianca. I don't really agree, of course they probably don't remember what Bianca looked like as a baby. She was a bulldog - or if you ask Papa, a frog. I'm thinking Peyton looks more like Ben, and has some of Kyle's features. We can compare pictures. (as soon as I start posting them).
Company left and it was just the five of us again, settling in for a nap and some tummy time.

The new soccer moms

Brandy and Kristie (umm that's me)
Brandy and I have been playing soccer together for about 8 years, and here we are having babies together, well sorta. I'm due February 6th (36 weeks for twins is considered full term) and she's due April 6th. See how much bigger my tummy is, and it's got some more time to grow. Aren't we hot mama's?

Jan 14 2006

Jan 14th - Baby Shower
33 weeks along with Twins
See how I grow