Happy Good Friday

Woke up to the sound of my lil man padding into my room. He's so stinkin cute in the morning. He loves to snuggle, and nurse. Ok he wants to be close to his mama. Can you blame him? Thought not. He's very talkative in the am. So we chat back n forth til I really need to get outta bed. "I o you" means i love you. Haha. Work waits for no woman. Well sometimes it does. Got ready. Got kam ready and then hit Costco to gas up the beast then Starbucks to get myself revved up and ready for a long day. Cheers
And pick a winner

Awake

Yesterday I was exhausted when I got home. Stoked to see the kids cleaned house and walked to the park for an impromptu play date with Logan. Especially since Bianca called to complain that Sydney wasn't helping with laundry and was being naughty.
Made dinner and lounged on the couch. No gym for me. I really wanted bed, so at 815 I took the kids up to get them ready for bed and read to them. Tucked everyone in for the night and crawled into bed.
Sleep evaded me. I closed my eyes a s the wheels in my head were spinning. I tried and tried to sleep. Counted sheep. It was 10 and then 11. I was overtired and not sleeping.
I was thinking. Beach trips to plan. Mini vacation with my sis, mom and kids plus a beach trip to SLO to see out besties the millers. So much to plan so littles time. Okay SLO this summer. July I think. Capitola or bodega bay in August and Dl in December. Woohoo.
I eventually fell asleep somewhere between Ben snoring and the fan spinning. Woke up at 2, 4, 630 and ya so another sleepless night. It's been over a month of this poor sleep. I'm n unhappy girl when I'm having hot flashes and no sleep.

Spring break work out?

Long day at work yesterday and knew Thursday would bring carpool fever so I wanted to hit the gym and use my cupcake craving groupon that was expiring. Load 4 cranky kids in the car and drive to Folsom.
First off lil miss babysitter slept til 1130 while Sydney and Peyton did their chores, played out back and watched way to much tv. Bianca did wake up and get all her chores done by the time I got home. Yay team
Car rides are always Kaos. I wonder what car rides are like in other families with multiple kids??
Picked up 12 amazingly delicious cupcakes and headed to the gym. The gym was packed at 530. Had the hardest time finding a locker. Damn. 5 minutes in the sauna while Bianca groaned outside the door. Hit the elliptical for 10 minutes because Bianca said her knee was hurting but she would work through it. Well I don't want it to hurt, so we did the treadmill for 10 minutes but I could tell it wasn't helping the knee. So the bike was next. We raced for a bit and then hit the machines. At least that had us laughing at each other. 10 minutes in the sauna again so I could stretch and relax. Love that room. Picked up the kiddos and headed to papa Murphy's for a veggie pizza and pepperoni for the kids.
When I got in the car Sydney was screaming, tears, yelling, slobbering. Peyton had Bianca's phone playing plants vs zombies. Bianca said Sydney called her stupid. ( Sydney called me stupid the day before when I said she couldn't play on my phone). So Bianca must have called Sydney names because Sydney said Bianca started it. I have no idea but Bianca knew what would make Sydney mad. So Peyton reaped the benefits and got to play. This screaming uncontrollable acting 7 year old was a mess the entire drive home. Music load and she just wanted to scream louder, to be heard. There is no reasoning with her at this point. Home we barely make it with our sanity. Still crying. Eventually she stopped after another half hour of on and off madness. Can't wait for school to start again. Routine. And early bedtime. I hit the hay at 10 but woke up every hour. Sydney came into sleep with us and I up her back to bed in her room. Then kam woke up crying whimpering. Put him back to bed as well with his giraffe and soft soothing sounds. Took him about 5 minutes. Took me another hour an the next thing I knee. Ben was shaking me awake. Well good morning to you too.

Party all day. Party all night

I am exhausted. Woke up early on Tuesday with Kamren we made coffee together and went outside to play before the girls woke up. Yay for a lil chill in the air, coffee in hand and a soccer ball to kick with my boy. The girls woke up about an hour later and we did chores and then back outside to play and water our wonderful garden.
Kam took an early morning nap fell asleep in my arms for an hour til i laid him down and I snuck off with Sydney and Peyton on a bike ride. We went almost 4 miles and it felt so good. I would love to ride more but the girls are in need of new bikes cuz the ones they have are small and one gear. Makes for a hard ride for them. I ride in the hardest gear to make it fair.
When we got back from cow gazing and the bike ride the kids all jumped in the trampoline with ice cubes. They had a blast. Love all the laughter and smiles. Kam wore his helmet. Haha.
Lunch and another family bike ride. Bianca and kam went too. A lil jogging a lil scootering and some biking fun. Yay family.
Tv time while the kids played out back more and I fixed dinner. After a bit we went out back to play tag. My 7 year olds are quick and I'm not kidding they were chasing me with a vengeance. We were up the slide, down the stairs, through the swings and round and round the trampoline. I was exhausted and so were they. It was awesome fun.
Soccer game at 10. I didn't want to go but sucked it up and played. I played good. Scored 2 goals 3 assists. I was feeling and looking good. Loved it!!! I'm ready for another game.
Home at last and a lil tv with Bianca and Ben. Yay for some downtime but I wasn't tired to much adrenaline to contain. Finally fell asleep and I wanted to cry when the alarm went off and Kamren got angry. Put that boy back in his bed and slept another hour. Heck ya.
Got to work late an now I'm workin late to make up for it.

A lil me

Sittin in this sauna makes me feel amazing. My favorite before and after workout. Got a late start to the gym tonight but I am here. The me thing. I don't care to be here alone. It's more fun to work out with someone but looks like me and Kam were the only ones who needed gym time. Kam was thrilled the whole way here but got a lil tear action when I left him in the kid gym. He always loves it. The girls all gain over him. They think he's cute and sweet. Well duh. He totally is. So I'm stretching in this heat. No more pulled muscles I got me a soccer game tomorrow. Old lady league.

I loved doing the gym with my girl courtni and even Sandra is cool at the gym. Bianca hates the sauna but likes to run. Guess she's too cool to go to the gym with me now. Come on Ben. I know you love the gym. He owes me 6 days still he lost a bet. You can see he's beating the door down to come along. So it's me. And it's quiet tonight. This stretch is amazing. Then I'm gonna hit that elliptical like its my girls Vin. A girl can use some motivation. Almost warm enough to start swimming. That's when the girls are screaming for the gym.
Got 2 miles in 22 minutes. Maybe tomorrow I will do that 45 on the elliptical. I really need to get myself ready for the mud run and for bikini weather. I have another two weeks for the run and that's not gonna have me ready for summer. Once I get this routine back I think I will be okay but it's so easy to lounge on the couch and not put the work in. I need to want it more and know I can do it but its been so long. It's the journey I'm lookin for.
3.5 miles in 22 on the bike, as you can tell it was a lazy ride. I don't wanna get off the bike and miss any of the voice but I wanna relax in the sauna before I gotta pick Kamren up. Shhh don't tell we aren't on the good routine tonight. Kam had a late nap because Bianca babysat while we took Sydney and Peyton to see the croods.

Now I'm home and gliding with kam in my arms. He's me talkative and so sweet. He loves to say please and my new favorite quote is. Thank you Mommie. Melts my heart.

A day to reflect

This week has been emotional and the closer it got to march 24th the more on edge I got. Frustration, loss of patience, well Kyles anniversary does that to me. The pain that is always there. The hurt in my heart. I still miss him and wish he was here but feel blessed to have had him in my life for the short while he was on earth.

8 years 5 months and 5 days ago today was the last time I held and kissed my son Kyle who stole my heart with his infectious smile and happy out going self. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you or what you brought to my life. I love you now and always. Because of you i am a better person; I'm more compassionate, love completely and forgive easily.

Through my grief journey I met the most amazing friends and support system and together we shared each others stories, pains of love and loss and together continue to help others who have suffered loss during pregnancy and after. Thank you sharing parents of Sacramento. And many others who give their time and support for a beautiful cause.

That was my Facebook write up.

We went to the cemetery with wild flowers & sunflowers and places his stuffed animals and race cars around his marker. Kamen likes to arrange the toys He also likes to borrow and play with other children's toys. We did our lil tribute and the kids are eager to get back and make Kyles place Easter friendly.

After our visit we headed to Vallejo for cousin Olivia's baptism. Kamren wasn't thrilled about the long car ride and then sitting I. Church so I was outside most of the time with him. Afterwards we went to walnut creek for the reception at Scott's seafood. The place was really beautiful. The kids liked the water falls and walking around the garden area. The hosts had a nice set up. Fancy caramel corn and chocolate dipped pretzels. We all got to write notes to Olivia. Very cool. Food was good. Ben iAnd Bianca had a contest on who drank the most mocktails. The girl of the hour was beautiful and never cried. Life is good.

Kamrens 2 year well visit

We saw dr Agee cuz dr niazi is still on maternity leave. Kam loves dr niazi but he really liked dr Agee too. He is 34.5 inches (50%) tall 27 lbs (45%) and his head is 19.25 (75%). He commented that he acted more like a 3 yro than a 2 yro. That's my boy! He was showing off for her. He kept telling her he was 2, told her his name and wanted her to test his reflexes with her lil hammer. He walked forward, backward, skipped, jumped, showed her his muscles before putting his clothes back on. What a cool kid. She was happy to hear that he went potty in the big toilet at school and that he has pooped in the toilet at home web though potty training was an epic fail. He peed the floor more times than he did anything else. Oh well. He is back on track and Dick said that Kam went up to him and said he needed to potty. Big plus.
After the dr appt we went to cookie connection and stocked up on cookies. My lil man is now passed out while we wait for Sydney and Peyton to get out of school.