Monday, March 24, 2008

Kyle's Anniversary

Today felt like a long time coming, especially since Easter came early. We
received some cards on Friday, thinking about you cards, remembering
cards, and it felt great, I love that my friends still remember Kyle and
think about us and our family especially during difficult times, though if
you asked me a couple years ago... I never could have imagined getting to
this place I am now...

The morning started off pretty much the same way they always do, me
oversleeping the alarm, creeping around trying to get ready before Sydney
and Peyton wake up and realize it's a school day... and it never works. I
may get dressed but that's as far as I get. Someone always wakes up
crabby.... one baby is singing the praises of Mr Sunshine, while the other
wants milk... and not just any milk... mama's milk.... So the day begins...

The last two years on March 24th I'd wake up early and watch my DVD's of
Kyle - a great friend of ours made us a special DVD with lots of pictures of
Kyle, next I'd break out the home videos.... and I'd cry lots, missing my son.
The babies would usually wake up and watch with me... cuz I'd watch
throughout the day....

Today was different, I actually went to work on Kyle's anniversary

I dropped Sydney and Peyton off at daycare, they had a pretty good
morning, didn't have to fight with them to get dressed for once but they
wanted to watch Diego, and they wanted yogurt, and they wanted to go
play with Kallie.. and the list grew the longer we were home...

I got to work and had some emails letting me know that my friends were
thinking about Kyle and us, a couple phone calls, and a visit at my desk -
everything always leads to tears eventually - we talk about the memories
we shared with Kyle, the things we all remember... it's good to do, even
when I cry, I'm so glad I have the memories, and I'm so glad Kyle isn't

Our friend who lives in Denver called to let us know she was thinking about
us all. We see them every time they come home to Sacramento/Davis, and
we talk occasionally throughout the rest of the year, but everyone is so
busy with careers and kids, that we don't get to talk enough. Even when
the world is so busy spinning, they never miss a chance to call to let us
know that their thinking about us, or remembering Kyle on his birthday or
his anniversary - I love that about them

As I sit here and write... the tears won't stop flowing... I miss him so much and my heart still aches... Somethings never change.

I need to go to sleep.... so here are a few pictures


  1. I hope you're able to get some sleep. Those precious pics will bring tears to anyone's eyes who knew Baby Kyle...I'm certainly not seeing my monitor clearly now...

    What a tough day to get through; I don't know how you did it. You must be exhausted.

    You do have some wonderful memories!

  2. Anonymous10:34 AM

    Kristie - you always bug me to write comments so here is a comment and it's even heartfelt.

    I love the pictures and I miss Kyle being here on earth with his mom and family. For a reason that we don't understand, he was not able to stay. I know he is happy and we will see him again and you know I believe that.

    I always say that there was never a baby more loved than that little boy.

    Thank you for shaing the pictures of those good times. He was a precious little guy. Bianca is pretty darn cute, too.

    (I could not remember my password - so it's from anonymous)! VF

  3. Hey Girl, I'm glad your routine changed for the first time. It isn't that you don't love or miss your baby boy..I'm sure you love him more today than ever before.

    I still remember his smell when I smooched his cheeks. I can see his big sister, hovering and making sure I'm holding him right. I remember you laughing, smiling and eyes sparkly as you gazed into your son's eyes. His memory is a gift that will always uplift my heart.

    My only regret is that the twins will not get to physically touch him...but they know him. They know they have a big brother. They also have a great big sister who got her experience with her brother first. And they always have a guardian angel to watch over them.

    To you, Ben, Bianca, Kyle, Sydney and Peyton, I give my everlasting love, friendship and prayers.

    Kyle, I could never forget you. Thank you for your contribution into making your Mom the woman she is today. She is beautiful (inside and out), she is strong, she is funny and caring. She is sunshine and light in the lives of those who are lucky enough to be loved by her and who love her.

  4. I forgot how cute Kyle was. It seems like forever since Ben told me what happened. I hope that the rest of the day was a good day, and I'm glad that you got so many well wishes.


  5. Sarah Beth1:59 PM

    I LOVE all of the pictures!!! Kyle was a beautiful, loved little boy. I'm glad you had a little change in your routine and that angels were guiding the girls that morning. Go girls for being so good for mommy.

    I wish I had the chance to know him, but I love to hear your stories and see pictures!! Bianca looks so young :) She's really matured over the years.

    My love and hugs are with you always and forever.
    (Abbey said her's are too)
    ~ SB

  6. Kyle's such a cute baby! I don't think I'd seen some of those pictures before. I'll never forget the impact he's had on all of our lives.