Wednesday, September 03, 2014

Funerals come in 3's and bring back floods of memories

We lost our dear sweet friend Benie to cancer, she fought a courageous fight but in the end God wanted her more.  She is finally soaring free, feeling great and spending time with her daughter who left way to soon.

Martin also lost his mom Margarita, and this Friday we are going to the funeral for Tiara's dad Teeko. That makes 3.... actually 4 because my friends Meghann and Philip lost their baby girl Scout a couple months ago.

Funerals always get me thinking about the people I've lost in my life.  My grandparents, my son, and even my biological father.  Mostly I think of Kyle.  Everything he could have been, everything we missed out on, all the things we will never have with him.  I cry more than I should, I feel this empty void... it hurts.  And then I remember the smiles, the way his eyes danced when he looked at us.  The good times we shared are still only memories, they aren't as vivid as they once were.  I miss him, and still remember the ache in my arms when he left us.  He is my heart and i carry him everywhere with me and the way I have grown because of him, my heart loves more, I am compassionate, I am lost and found and believe.

Friday we went to Margarita's rosary, and it got me thinking...  we haven't seen any of these people (Martins Family - The Amezcua's) in years.  The last time was probably 5 or 6 years ago.  I do recall a time when we saw them more often, some more than others.  I remember Casino nights, Craps nights, Montecarlo nights (whatever you wanna call them)  Snowboarding, Murder Mysteries, Births and Birthdays...  and now deaths..  Everyone has grown up and now with their own families.  It was great to see old faces and new faces, if only it wasn't the death that brought everyone together.  It was good to hear old stories and memories of Margarita and Amezcua life.  The Funeral was on Saturday and afterwards everyone congregated at her Davis home one last time to eat and spend time together.

After we left and went back to grandma and papa's we (the Avila's) spent some quality time together, eating and hanging out, it felt good, like home, since we used to BBQ almost every weekend with them.  Now it's soccer games and more soccer games that make visits less frequent.  So it was really cool when Papa said we should all (13 of us) go to Leatherbys for ice cream.  Papa hardly likes to leave the house, and him being spontaneous is out of character...  No one can say no to ice cream.. or papa. haha.  The kids were stoked as were the adults.  Table for 13 please and everyone was on their best behavior....  Fun Times.

1 comment:

  1. My love...funerals are for the living..not the dead. This is exactly the time to renew love, family, friends.... I know in my heart, when it's my time, I want my friends to come together and have fun, remember me with laughter, tears and tequila and just be together. Precious Kyle...he is always with you. sometimes the edges get a little fuzzy, but the heart is crystal clear. When you are finally together, You will see what he has become, what he is...and he will be wrapped within his Mommy's arms once again. Do not worry about what you may have missed. Embrace what will and Kyle day. In the meantime Kristie Girl, I love you and while I can't take Kyle's place...there's always a hug with your name on it!!!